Ora Decoris
Scene 1
(2075 AD. Interior of Saint Peter’s Basilica. Gabriel and Azazel sit quietly in one of the
chapels, talking. Gabriel smiles as
Azazel talks. They speak in angelic.)
Gabriel: You know
Azazel, I’m surprised you picked here of all places to meet up.
Azazel: Truth be told, I’ve never been
to the
Gabriel: You’re surprised? (He rolls his eyes.) It’s a jubilee year.
Azazel: I’ve never gotten that jubilee year thing.
Gabriel: I don’t understand it much myself, beyond the
fact the mortals think that walking under a magical archway will forgive all of
your sins.
Azazel: Theology’s weird.
(Gabriel laughs. Azazel grins.)
Gabriel: Speaking of things that are weird,why do they always paint me
so girly in art?
(Azazel raises an eyebrow and bites his lip.)
Gabriel: Oh now, be honest.
Azazel: You’re not exactly the most
masculine angel in Heaven. (He snorts
slightly.) Besides, we all know that the
Renaissance painters were into little boys.
Gabriel: Azazel!
Azazel: (Laughs.) KIDDING!
But seriously, most of the prolific painters were gay. Michelangelo. DaVinci.
Gabriel: DaVinci was bi and a very nice man.
So Metatron claims. Never had any direct contact with him myself.
Azazel: Okay, point. But you get what I’m saying. They had the most influence, and since they
made you girly, people continued to make you girly.
(Gabriel glares at Azazel, annoyed.
Azazel grins.)
Azazel: And I am sure that this entire conversation is
blasphemous and we’re gonna get smote.
(Gabriel giggles and then stops. He
suddenly tenses. Azazel’s
face also grows serious.)
Azazel: What’s wrong?
Gabriel: There’s
another angel here. Powerful. (He pauses.)
It’s Michael. Crap, Azazel you need to get out of
here.
Azazel: What should I--
Gabriel: Exit by the door closest to the Pieta.
You should be okay.
(Azazel nods and stands up and begins to move away. Timing is bad, as Michael approaches and
there is no where for Azazel to hide.
Azazel looks at Gabriel, worried.
Gabriel waves him back over.
Azazel rejoins Gabriel. Michael
approaches his brother and sits down next to Gabriel.)
Michael: Hey. What’re you doing he—(He
trails off, staring at Azazel. Azazel averts his gaze.) Oh my God, Azazel.
(Gabriel shrinks down in his seat.
Azazel avoids eye contact with Michael.)
Azazel: ‘Llo
Michael. S’been a while.
Michael: Indeed. (He pauses.
His expression goes from an almost pleasant surprise to serious. In Angelic.) I thought you were locked away in a desert
somewhere.
Azazel: Things changed.
(Michael looks from Gabriel to Azazel.
He shakes his head.)
Michael: Gabriel, how long have you known?
Gabriel: A very long while.
Michael: And you didn’t tell me?
Gabriel: (Slightly testy.) I saw no reason to. He wasn’t going about revealing his identity
or fathering children.
Michael: No reason? Gabriel, this is a breech of divine
justice! You should have told someone
immediately. (He looks at Azazel.) How long have you been free?
Azazel: Since the 17th
century.
(Michael looks at Gabriel, angry. He
turns his gaze back to Azazel.)
Michael: Who freed you?
Azazel: (Very quietly.) Satan.
(Michael’s eyes widen.)
Michael: GABRIEL!
Gabriel: Michael,
Satan’s dead. Any deal that Azazel made
with Satan is null and void. There is
absolutely no reason that Azazel needs to be punished further. He was chained in a festering pit for thousands of years. It’s a punishment worse than any angel in Hell
has been given! He deserves a peaceful existence.
Michael: God gave It’s
judgment. Upholding
that judgment is the right thing to do.
Gabriel: No, it isn’t! God can be wrong, Michael. I think God would agree with me here!
Michael: Not in the slightest!
(The two have begun to cause a scene. A
crowd stares at them. Azazel
whimpers. Gabriel turns bright red.)
Gabriel: Sorry folks, my brother and I
were simply ah, having a theological discussion.
(Azazel snorts in amusement. Michael
levels a death glare at Azazel, who shuts up immediately.)
Michael: There’s only one way to settle this.
Gabriel: We need to contact Yahweh.
Azazel: (Panics.) What?!
Gabriel, no, don’t.
Gabriel: (Snaps.) If I
don’t do it, my brother will and you’ll be back in that pit. Do you want that to happen?
Azazel: No but--
Michael: I will see to it you’re given
worse than the pit for breaking divine decree!
Azazel: But--
Michael: Let’s find a place to
teleport.
(Michael begins to lead the trio out of the basilica. Azazel follows behind Michael like a prisoner
being lead off to the chair. Gabriel
pats his back.)
Gabriel: It’s not going to be as bad as
you think. Hashem has changed a lot
since you last talked to It. In fact, I think God will be happy to see
you.
Azazel: (Dejected.) Happy. Yeah, right.
Scene 2
(Heaven. Waiting
area of God’s office. Michael
walks over to a small door and enters Metatron’s office. Metatron looks up.)
Metatron: Yes, Michael?
Michael: Is God in the office?
Metatron: I believe so. (Dismissively.) What
did Lucifer do now?
Michael: It’s not
related to Lucifer at all. Er, well, you might want to come and take a look.
Metatron: Very well then.
(Metatron stands up and walks out of the office into the waiting area. Azazel sits in a chair, shaking
nervously. Gabriel sits next to him,
trying to calm him down. Metatron
stares.)
Metatron: My word.
Michael: Obviously, we need to see
Yahweh. Immediately.
(Metatron nods and disappears down a corridor. Michael crosses his arms across his chest and
glares at Gabriel and Azazel. Gabriel
looks up from comforting Azazel and glares right back at Michael. Metatron appears again.)
Metatron: You three can go in now.
(Gabriel and Azazel stand up. They and Michael
walk down the short corridor and enter God’s office.)
Scene 3
(God’s office. God is male, bald, wearing a suit. It looks up as the three angels enter. A small smile is on It’s
face.)
God: Azazel.
Azazel: (Mutters.) Yahweh.
(Three chairs are in front of God’s desk. Azazel sits in the middle with Gabriel on his
right and Michael on his left. God looks
Azazel up and down.)
God: You look good, Azazel.
Azazel: (Mutters.) Thanks.
God: Might I ask how you escaped from
your prison?
Azazel: (Still
muttering.) Well I --
(Gabriel nudges him.)
Gabriel: Speak up, we can barely hear
you.
God: Thank you, Gabriel.
Azazel: Well, Satan freed me. He said I could keep my freedom as long as I
agreed to assassinate Lucifer when the time came. Aside from that, I could do whatever I
wanted.
God: What year were
you freed?
Azazel: 1664.
God: I see. What have you been doing to support yourself
since then?
Azazel: It’s varied. I was an assassin for a while.
(Michael’s face turns slightly red.)
God: Oh?
Azazel: I promise though, I only agreed
to kill a person if I knew they would be damned. I refused to deal with personal grudges and
the like.
Michael: (Snaps. Irritated.) So you played vigilante instead?!
Azazel: I suppose you
could put it that way.
(Michael snarls. God shoots him a
Look. Michael calms down. God turns It’s head
to Gabriel.)
God: Gabriel, when did you find out that
Azazel had been freed from his prison?
Gabriel: I first learned of it in 2004 when I saw him at Saint Patrick’s
cathedral in
God: 71 years. (It frowns.) That’s an awfully long time to keep something
like this secret.
Gabriel: I did not feel that it was worth mentioning. Azazel hasn’t harmed anyone.
Michael: Except for the assassin bit!
Azazel: (Calmly.) I stopped being an
assassin 70 years ago. I’m able to live comfortably through investments I’ve
made years and years ago.
Michael: (Yelling.) That’s not the point here Azazel! Not only have you defied divine decree,
you’ve taken the matter of justice into your own hands!
God: MICHAEL! Shut up!
(Michael falls silent. God frowns at
Azazel.)
Gabriel: M’lord?
God: Yes, Gabriel?
Gabriel: Far be it from me to criticize you, but you’re also culpable in
this.
God: (Interested.) Go on.
Gabriel: First and foremost, Azazel’s initial punishment was staggeringly unfair. His child died two days after birth, so it
isn’t as if his son participated in the chaos and destruction the nephilim
brought upon the Earth. Second of all,
if humans didn’t learn forges and weapon making from him, they would have
learned it eventually. I would also like
to point out that the Grigori made a pact to take equal blame if there was ever
divine punishment for their actions on Earth, yet you singled out Azazel and
Semyaza. Semyaza’s
punishment has been lifted and he now is one of the Seven Deadly Sins in
Hell. I don’t see the reasoning behind
forcing Azazel back into the desert hole for all eternity.
Michael: WHAT?
Gabriel: There’s one other issue.
God: And that is..?
Gabriel: Well, if Azazel had been kept
under strict guard he wouldn’t have escaped.
I mean, you just put the poor thing in the desert and forgot about him. We all did.
God: Out of sight, out of mind. All very good points
Gabriel. Do you have anything
else you would like to add?
Gabriel: I think I’ve spoken for the
side of reason.
(Gabriel glares at Michael. Michael
glares back and flips Gabriel off.
Gabriel snarls in response. God
rolls It’s eyes.)
God: Are you children quite done
now?
Michael: Er.
Gabriel: Sorry.
(God nods shortly.)
God: Michael, Gabriel. Could you leave? I’d like to speak to Azazel privately.
Gabriel: Certainly.
Michael: Of course, m’lord.
(Gabriel and Michael exit.
They close the door behind them.
This leaves Azazel and God alone.
God relaxes, placing It’s feet on the table.)
God: So.
Azazel: So.
God: Gabriel’s totally right. The punishment was completely unfair and
unjust. But then again, Michael has a
good point too. Divine mandate was
broken. (It frowns.) This is quite a predicament.
Azazel: Well, I really can’t tell you what to do. I’m subject to your rules, after all.
God: Indeed. (It frowns.)
Gabriel never told you about the Agreement, did he?
Azazel: The what?
God: (Laughs
slightly.) Obviously
not. The Agreement is
simple. It says that all of the Fallen
have a chance to be redeemed. They just
need to follow the same guidelines as the humans. When the world ends, they’ll be judged like
we judge human souls. If they meet the
criteria to enter Heaven, they can return home.
If they don’t, they will cease to exist.
Azazel: And you’re extending that offer
to me?
God: If you accept it.
Azazel: And if I don’t…?
God: Well then, I guess I’ll have to get
creative, won’t I?
(Azazel pauses. God stares at him
intently.)
Azazel: Will I have to work in Hell?
God: Erm. (Beat.)
No. Continue to live on
Earth. It’s obvious you’re more
comfortable there.
(Azazel nods.)
God: Azazel.
Azazel: Yes?
God: There’s still the matter of
punishment.
(Azazel shrinks down in his seat slightly.)
Azazel: Oh. Right.
(God frowns. It chews It’s
lip worriedly.)
Azazel: Well?
God: The lightest punishment I can think
of is to take away your angelic powers.
(Azazel stares at God blankly.)
Azazel: Ow.
God: You’ll retain flight, of course,
but little things like teleportation and magic will be lost to you.
Azazel: Will this be permanent?
God: Oh God, no. Only for 411 years.
Azazel: What a random number.
God: Not really. It’s the amount of time you’ve been free
without Heaven knowing. Do you think you
can manage?
Azazel: (Nods.) Quite well, actually.
God: Well then, there we go. (It pauses.)
Azazel.
I truly am sorry about the past.
Azazel: (Bitter.) I’m sure you are Yahweh. Am I free to go?
God: Indeed. It was good to see you again.
(Azazel stands up and leaves without another word.)
Scene 4
(Azazel enters the waiting area. Gabriel and Michael spring out of their
seats.)
Gabriel: Well?!
Michael: What happened?
Azazel: I’ve accepted the
Agreement. However, I’ve lost my angelic
powers for 411 years as punishment for breaking divine decree.
Michael: (Mutters.) A little light on the
punishment if you ask me.
Gabriel: (Smiles.) I’m glad it wasn’t anything worse. C’mon, I’ll get you home.
Azazel: (Nods.) Thanks.
(Gabriel snaps his fingers. He and
Azazel disappear.)
Fin.