Sefer Raziel

Scene 1

(BCE. 5000, after the fall of man. Uriel sits in Raziel’s office. Raziel is seated on his desk, Uriel in a chair. Uriel leafs through a book.)

Uriel: So basically you got bored and wrote an entire book.

Raziel: Yup yup. (He beams.) Pretty impressive, eh?

Uriel: You must have been so damn bored.

(Raziel shrugs.)

Raziel: What can I say? I don’t have a lot of work to do.

(Uriel rolls his eyes and glares at his friend.)

Uriel: God how I wish I had that kind of life. Lucifer’s been working me overtime lately.

Raziel: (Laughs.) Sucks for you.

Uriel: So, what, pray tell, do you plan do to with this trove of information, dear friend?

Raziel: I have no idea.

(He hops down off his desk and leans against the door jamb.)

Raziel: I was thinking about maybe leaving it on Earth and seeing what happens.

Uriel: That seems a little irresponsible, don’t you think?

Raziel: Yeah, I know. (He pauses.) Give it to Duma maybe?

Uriel: Maybe. Then again he probably knows everything in that book already, so I doubt that it’d really do much more than collect dust in the library.

(Raziel shrugs. His phone rings. He moves and answers it.)

Raziel: Hullo? (Pause.) Oh yeah, sure. I’ll be there in a minute. Bye!

(Raziel hands up. Uriel looks at his friend quizzically.)

Raziel: Yahweh wants to meet with me for some reason. I’ll see you later.

Uriel: Yay, I get to go back to work.

(Uriel rolls his eyes and stands up. He and Raziel exit Raziel’s office.)

Scene 2

(God’s office. Raziel walks in. God sits behind Its desk in male form typing furiously at the computer.)

Raziel: Er, you asked to see me?

God: Ah, yes, I did. Please, sit down.

(It motions for Raziel to sit. Raziel does so. God looks him up and down slowly.)

God: Rumor has it that you’ve written a book.

Raziel: (Nods.) I have.

God: Could I see it, please?

Raziel: (Surprised but pleased.) Certainly!

(He teleports the book and hands a copy to God. God opens a page and reads it carefully. It then closes the book.)

God: Remarkable. You’ve more or less catalogued all information regarding Earth that humans could ever use.

Raziel: Why thank you m’lord…

God: Would you mind sharing it?

Raziel: No, not at all! (He beams.) Who would you like to share it with?

God: I’d like you to take it down to Earth and give it to Adam and his wife.

(Raziel blinks, surprised.)

Raziel: Er…are you sure? I mean, is this the sort of thing you want humans learning?

God: (Nods.) I’m positive.

Raziel: (Reluctant.) Well, if you’re sure.

God: You seem uneasy about this.

Raziel: It just seems to me that it’s a lot of power to give the humans. They might not use it wisely.

God: (Confident.) I’m sure they’ll be fine. Don’t worry, just do as I asked. (It smiles.) Now go.

Raziel: (Bows.) Yes m’lord.

(Raziel exits the office.)

Scene 3

(Raziel descends to Earth on wings, taking in the atmosphere. He lands with the book tucked under his arm atop a large rock. Adam and Eve sit there, Eve with a young son about two years old. They both look shocked to see Raziel. They fall on their knees. Raziel frowns.)

Raziel: No, never to the angels. Only to Yahweh. Stand up.

(Adam and Eve do so. Adam walks over to Raziel.)

Adam: Angel! What news do you bring from the Lord? Are we allowed to return to the Garden?

Raziel: (Frowns.) Sorry, I’m afraid I’m not the one to answer those sorts of questions. (He sits down on the rock.) I was asked to give you something.

Adam: (Curious.) Oh? What?

(Raziel hands Adam the book. Adam takes it carefully and runs his fingers over it.)

Raziel: It is a book. Inside of it is all the information you and your ancestors will need to survive. Take it and learn.

Adam: But how will I know how to read it?

Raziel: (Smiles confidently.) You’ll know.

Adam: But—

(Raziel smiles at Adam and places a hand on his shoulder.)

Raziel: Trust me, Adam. You will know.

(Raziel departs. Adam opens the book and begins to read it out loud.)

Adam: This is the book of the history of man that was given to him by the angel Raziel. This is the gateway of the Lord.

Scene 4

(God’s office. Raziel walks in again. God looks up.)

God: You gave him the book, I trust?

Raziel: I did. I’m still not sure that was the best idea though, Your Holiness. That book could cause a lot of damage if misused.

God: Don’t worry yourself over it. If there’s a problem because of the book I’ll deal with it. You can go back to your office now.

Raziel: Er…alright then.

(He walks out of the office.)

Fin.