Praesumo
Scene 1
(Lilith walks down a street, whistling content to herself. She wears a pair of blue jeans and an orange
tank top. Her hair is down and she wears
several rings on her left hand. She
approaches a street corner and stops.
Across the street a corner store has been broken into. The windows are shattered and the building is
surrounding by police. Lilith
pales. The light turns green. She crosses the crosswalk and runs over to
the store in a panic. She reaches the
crime scene tape and climbs over it. An
officer walks over.)
Officer: I’m sorry ma’am, this is a
crime scene. No one’s allowed back--
Lilith: (Quickly.) I’m the owner of this establishment,
officer. What the hell happened?! (She cranes around the officer to try and
assess the damage.)
Officer: If you wait here a moment I’ll
go get the man in charge of the investigation.
Lilith: Fine. Just…hurry it up.
(The officer walks off. Lilith stares at
the store, obviously upset. A police
officer approaches Lilith, obviously in charge by the way she carries
herself. Her name is Sophie. Is a fairly short brunette (5 foot 2) dressed
as an officer.)
Sophie: Excuse me, Miss Yarbala? I’m Sophie Le’duno, the officer in charge of
this investigation.
Lilith: (Not paying attention.) Charmed, m’sure. I
need to see the damage in there.
Sophie: I’m afraid I can’t let you in
until we’re done processing this scene for evidence. I’m sorry.
Lilith: (Nods slowly.) That’s fine, I can wait. Have you found anything of interest so far?
(Sophie glares. Lilith finally meets the
woman’s gaze, looking down slightly.)
Sophie: I need to ask you a few
questions first, if you don’t mind.
Lilith: (Snapping back to reality.) Oh, right.
Go ‘head.
(Sophie takes out a tape recorder and turns it on.)
Sophie: Where were you last night at
around 11 o’clock?
Lilith: At home, in bed. Asleep, by that time I believe. (She shrugs.)
It had been a long day.
Sophie: Do you have
anyone that can confirm this?
Lilith: I tend not to associate with
very many people, Miss Le’duno. My
neighbours may have seen me come home at 8, but I’m unsure.
Sophie: Where were you before that?
Lilith: I was here, working in the
backroom on invoices. (She turns her
head back to the store and then pauses.)
Wait, are you suggesting that I broke into my own store?!
Sophie:
(Embarrassed.) I’m sorry; it’s
something that we need to check out. I’m
certain you wouldn’t it’s just that--
Lilith: (Quickly.) It’s fine.
(Glares.)
Sophie: (Nods.) Do you know anyone who might hold a grudge
against you?
Lilith: (Blinks.) That’s a peculiar question. But no, I don’t. Why?
Sophie: If you’ll come with me…
(The two walk through the crime scene to the other side of the building. Scrawled across the wall is the following
text: Return to Hell, Mother of Demons.
If the Lord does not send you back, His believers will. Lilith’s eyes widen significantly.)
Lilith: Bloody hell. There are still
fundamentalists in
Sophie: (Looking at Lilith.) Apparently so. Has this ever happened to you before?
Lilith: Hate crimes based on my parents’
poor taste in first names? (She shakes her
head.) No, fortunately not. I mean, there was always the occasional scorn
by fairly Christian schoolmates, but they got over it pretty fast.
Sophie: (Gives Lilith a small look and
nods.) I see.
Lilith: Can you at least tell me if anything was stolen?
Sophie: Based on our current findings,
the store was just broken into and messed up.
Nothing taken.
Lilith: Of course. Wouldn’t be the Christian
thing to do. (She runs a hand
through her hair. Mutters.) I’m certain Exodus has to say something to
say about this sort of thing…
Sophie: What was
that?
Lilith: Nothing. (She frowns.)
Do you have any more questions?
Sophie: I do, but if
you’re not comfortable answering them here we could head down to the police
station and get them done in a more comfortable environment. The CSIs can process this scene without me
here.
Lilith: If you don’t mind, I would prefer to stay here.
Sophie: If you insist.
(The questioning continues.)
Scene 2
(That evening. 9 o’clock.
Lilith walks up a street and into her home. She is upset and frazzled as well as
stressed. She sighs and takes a key out
of her pocket and approaches two double doors.
She opens the two doors, revealing a small library. In the library is a collection of artifacts
that really ought to belong in museums along with a wall full of books and two
cozy armchairs. She sinks into one of
the armchairs.)
Lilith: How could this have
happened?! (She runs a hand through her
hair.) Honestly, I don’t see how this
could have slipped. (She stares at a
sculpture of Anubis on the table between the two armchairs.) The real question is do I let Yahweh
know? (She takes the sculpture into her
hand and runs her fingers over it gently.)
What do you think, Guardian of the Dead?
(She stops and then shakes her head.)
I shouldn’t, this’ll blow over.
(Lilith puts the Anubis sculpture back on the table and exits the room. She locks the doors behind her and yawns.)
Lilith: Bed then.
(Lilith heads upstairs.)
Scene 3
(Midnight. Lilith sleeps
peacefully in her room, several layers of blankets draped over her. Her sleep is fitful and frantic. Outside of her house a group of people in
shadows gather. One launches a small
item at the house. It breaks through a
front window. In the light we can see it
is a grenade. In a moment’s notice the
grenade explodes, rocking the house. The
shadowed figures flee quickly. Lilith
jolts up in bed, her eyes wide.)
Lilith: HOLY SHIT WHAT WAS THAT?!
(Lilith leaps out of bed and runs downstairs.
She freezes in horror, realizing what has happened. She takes out a key and quickly runs opens up
the locked room. She runs in and
immediately begins to pull books off of the shelves, muttering frantically
under her breath.)
Lilith: Where is it, where is it?! (She scans a book.) Good!
(Lilith closes her eyes and tries to regain composure. She stares at the book and reads quickly.)
Lilith: I hate doing this. (She speaks quickly.) In the Name of the
Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Take heed! Come,
all Spirits! By the virtue and power of your King, by the seven crowns and
chains of your Kings, all Spirits of the Heavens are forced to take me into
their Presence. Come, then, all at my
orders, to fulfill that which is in Your Power, as commanded. Come, therefore,
from the East, South, West and North! I conjure and command you, by the virtue
and Power of Him Who is three, eternal, equal, Who is God invisible,
consubstantial, in a word, Who has created the heavens, the sea and all which
is under heaven!
(Lilith disappears in a puff of green smoke, leaving only her book behind.)
Scene 4
(2 AM,
Uriel: Who the fuck is that at this
hour?
(Uriel moves over to the door, groggy.
He opens it slowly.)
Uriel: This better be--
Lilith: URIEL!
(Lilith hugs him tightly. Uriel is
slightly taken aback by this.)
Uriel: Um…hello…
(He blinks, surprised.
Lilith lets go of her grip and stares at him. Uriel catches the fact that there’s something
wrong given the look of fear on her face.)
Uriel: It’s 2 in the morning, why are you here?
(Lilith walks in. Uriel closes the door
behind her.)
Lilith: Something’s gone…wrong. Very wrong. (She shakes her head.)
Uriel: I gathered, if you’ve come
here. (He frowns.) What happened?
Lilith: I…it…somehow my identity slipped.
(Uriel stares at her, his mouth agape.
Lilith shakes her head.)
Lilith: Don’t give me that look,
okay? I don’t even know how it happened I just…
(Uriel rubs the bridge of his nose and sinks down onto the sofa.)
Uriel: Just tell me what happened. Chronologically, don’t skip any details.
(Lilith takes a seat beside Uriel.)
Lilith: I woke up this morning and
walked to work, like I always do. When I
got there it was revealed that the store was broken into. Moreover, the people who did this left the
following message, and I quote “Return
to Hell, Mother of Demons. If the Lord
does not send you back, His believers will.” Scrawled
across the wall on the side of the store.
Uriel: And you immediately assumed that people knew?
Lilith: No, not right away. I was scared a little but…(She
shakes her head.) I got home at like, 8
or so, and debated contacting Upstairs then. I figured it was stupid, since there wasn’t
any indication people actually knew my identity, right? I went to bed a little while later and was
woken up a few minutes ago. Some…people…person…whatever…threw
a fucking grenade at my house. (She stops for a moment to regain her
composure. She’s near tears.) It was obvious to me they knew and…(She stops talking and wipes at her eyes.) Fuck it Uriel, I have no idea what to do.
(Uriel gives her a reassuring hug.)
Uriel: You do know you’ve gotta talk to
Upstairs, right?
(Lilith groans.)
Uriel: But not right away. (He stands
up.) You want a cup of tea or coffee?
Lilith: (Quietly.) Tea, please.
(Uriel disappears into his kitchenette.
He returns a moment later with two cups of tea in old, hand painted
yellow mugs. He hands one cup to
Lilith.)
Uriel: It’s just regular old Lipton tea,
I hope you don’t mind.
(Lilith takes a sip of the tea.)
Lilith: S’fine.
Uriel: Let’s think logically here. Who would have done this?
Lilith: That one’s kinda obvious, isn’t
it? Fundamentalist
Christians.
Uriel: You’re assuming that.
Lilith: Uriel, who
else uses the epitaphs that they used in a derogatory manner? It couldn’t have been any of those kids who
believe in vampires and stuff. If it
were they’d be falling down and worshipping me, not trying to ruin my life.
Uriel: Point taken. (He frowns.)
Wait. You live in
Lilith: I know. I was surprised that there are still fundies
there too.
Uriel: Well, do you know anyone who’d
fit in the “fundie” category?
(Lilith stops to think. Uriel takes a sip of his tea slowly and sighs.)
Lilith: Honestly, I really can’t
recall. I go out of my way to avoid
anyone who may even remotely be a fundamentalist. Admittedly, keeping the name of Lilith
probably wards them off anyway but--
Uriel: Any recent visitors?
Lilith: Not that I can reca—wait, I take that back. Two weeks ago one of my neighbours stopped
by. She was locked out of her home and
was waiting for a locksmith.
Uriel: (Nods slowly.) Did she see anything…out of the ordinary?
(Lilith tries to think. She then shakes
her head. Uriel sighs.)
Lilith: Honestly, I don’t remember right
now. Today’s just been insane, I can’t
remember anything and just…(She sighs.)
Uriel: No, I understand. (He stands up.) I want you to stay here tonight. Try and sleep. I’ll call home tomorrow to report what
happened and we’ll go from there, okay?
Lilith: Yeah. Thanks, Uriel.
Uriel: Don’t mention it.
(Uriel slips into his bedroom. Lilith
lies down on the sofa and pulls a blue fleece blanket over her and stares at
the ceiling.)
Scene 5
(Uriel’s flat. That
morning, 8 o’clock. Uriel creeps
into the kitchen. He is surprised to
find Lilith awake on the sofa. He walks
over to her.)
Uriel: Did you sleep at all last night?
Lilith: No.
Uriel: You want some coffee?
Lilith: Please.
(She sits up on the sofa.)
Lilith: Did you call back to your Lord
yet or what?
Uriel: I was going to wait a little
while until we finished the conversation from last night.
(He shuffles into the kitchen. Lilith
follows him. Uriel begins to make a pot
of coffee. Lilith sits down at a small
kitchen table and watches him.)
Uriel: Before we start that though,
can I ask you something?
Lilith: (Nods.) I suppose.
Uriel: Why’d you come to me for help? (He pours water into the coffee maker.)
Lilith: Huh?
Uriel: Lilith, you abhor Yahweh and
us angels. You’ve made it clear over the
years you’ve been on this planet. You
coming to me for help is a change in character for
you.
Lilith: Well, really, it was the only
thing I could do. Can’t
go around to laypeople claiming to be the biblical Lilith under attack.
Uriel: There’s
plenty of other people you could have gone to though. You’ve got friends in high places.
Lilith: It…it just seemed like the
right thing to do at the time. This is
something that involved my maker, not the other Gods. And if I asked for help in
a church things would have been horrid.
Uriel: Fair enough. But why me?
(Lilith pauses to think. Uriel hands her
a cup of coffee.)
Lilith: Because I trust you, I
suppose. (She frowns and takes a sip of
her coffee.) As much as I hate Yahweh
and you goddamned bastard children of Its, you’re one
of the few who have been kind to me.
(She smiles faintly.) You gave me
food and drink and your coat in the desert, even after I told you I beat the
shit out of Lucifer. (She takes another
sip of the coffee.) I knew you could
help. And you have.
(Uriel sits down across from her.)
Uriel: Glad to know I’m needed. (He frowns.)
Back to business though. What did your neighbour see that could have
given away your identity, if not your library?
Lilith: I’m still unsure. I know at one point I walked out of my living
room and into the kitchen to make tea.
Uriel: What’s in your living room? Anything out of the
ordinary?
Lilith: Photo albums and a few classic books, but they’re new soft cover
editions, none earlier than 1974.
Uriel: Hang on. (He puts his coffee mug down.) Those photo albums.
What time period do they run from?
Lilith: Oh God, probably since
photography first started. 1800s to present.
There’s old sketches in there too, a few odd Blake doodles and—(She
trails off. Her eyes go wide.) She must have gone into the older photos and
seen...Oh god, Uriel.
Uriel: (Quickly, excited.) Your neighbour then, is she religious at all?
Lilith: Somewhat, I think. She was certainly offended by my name when I
first introduced myself.
Uriel: (Nods quickly.) What’s her name?!
Lilith: I…I think it’s Mary…Mary Fiata?
Uriel: Stay right there!
(Uriel runs into the next room and types furiously into his laptop. A screen pops up. Uriel brings the lap top into the kitchen and
sets it down in front of Lilith.)
Uriel: Is this her?
(Lilith scans the screen. On the screen is
a photo of a Caucasian woman with light brown hair. It lists bits of information about her,
including name, family history and religion.)
Lilith: It is. (She reads.)
Holy shit.
Evangelical Christian. (She looks up.)
Uriel: We know how your identity leaked
out then. She must have told her church
and…
Lilith: …and it all went to Hell from there.
(She groans.) Now my store is
gone and my house is probably destroyed because of it. Goddamnit!
Uriel: M’so
sorry…(He smiles at her sympathetically.)
(Lilith nods slowly.)
Uriel: I’m gonna go put in a call to
upstairs so we can resolve this situation.
There’s a few muffins on top of the fridge if
you’d like one. They’re blueberry. If I were you I’d eat something.
Lilith: I suppose so. The coffee’s
really good, by the way.
Uriel: (Smiles.) Thanks.
(Uriel walks off into his room. Lilith
recovers a muffin from atop the refrigerator and begins to eat it slowly.)
Scene 6
(Uriel’s room. Uriel sits atop a messy bed, a cell phone in
his hand and laptop on the bed. The room
is a dark blue with light oak furniture and clothing askew all over the
room. Uriel sighs into the phone.)
Uriel: C’mon Metatron. I know you’re there, pick up!
(On the opposite end, a groggy
Metatron picks up his office phone.)
Metatron: Hullo?
Uriel: Metatron!
Metatron: (Groggily.) Uriel? It’s a Saturday, why are you calling me? I haven’t even had my coffee yet…
Uriel: Sir, with all
due respect, it’s urgent. I need to
speak to Hashem. Now.
(Gabriel walks into Metatron’s office and hands him a cup of coffee. Metatron takes it and takes a sip.)
Metatron: Thank you, Gabriel. (Into the phone. Irritated.) Uriel, what is so urgent that you’re calling
me at 8 in the morning on a Saturday to talk to the Almighty?
Uriel: (Now annoyed.) Sir, Lilith showed up at my flat at 2 o’clock this morning because some mortals have found out her true identity.
Metatron:
(Speechless.) I…I…hang on a
moment Uriel.
(Metatron sticks his head into God’s office.)
Metatron: Your
Holiness?
God: (Looks up from the computer.) Yes?
Metatron: Uriel’s on line one. Apparently Lilith showed up at his flat
because some mortals found out about the fact she’s that Lilith.
(God nods quickly and picks up the phone.)
God: Uriel?
Uriel: Your
Holiness!
God: (Patient,
yet concerned.) I’m going to come down
in half an hour and the four of us will discuss this matter, am I clear?
Uriel: Yes m’Lord.
(God hangs up. Uriel sighs and hangs up
and then stretches across his bed. He
pauses for a moment and then gets up.)
Scene 7
(Uriel walks into the kitchen, changed out of his PJs. Lilith sits at the small kitchen table,
staring into her cup of tea.)
Uriel: I called upstairs. Yahweh and Metatron will be down in half an
hour so we can resolve this situation.
Lilith: (Flat, emotionless.) Great.
Uriel: I know that
it’s not really who you wanted to see but I honestly don’t think that anyone
else could have helped.
Lilith: You know what thought just
occurred to me, Uriel?
(Uriel takes a seat across from her.)
Uriel: No, what?
Lilith: I left my house last night when
it was still in flames. It’s probably
completely destroyed. That includes the
stuff in my private library. There are
things in there that I can never replace, ever.
Old idols, original artwork, first edition books,
codices, scrolls…
Uriel: (He smiles reassuringly.) I’m
sure that everything’s fine. (He
pauses.) Do you really think it’s a good
idea for the Almighty to see you in pjs?
Lilith: I don’t have any other clothes, Uriel.
Uriel: Yeah, you
probably wouldn’t fit into my stuff either.
Lilith: No, probably not. (She sighs.)
I dunno how they’re gonna fix this either.
Uriel: As Gabriel would say, have
faith.
(Lilith glares across the table at Uriel. Uriel shrugs.)
Uriel: I’m sure we’ll figure out something. Just be prepared to make compromises.
Lilith: (Rolls her
eyes.) Yippee.
Scene 8
(Half an hour later. Uriel opens the front door, allowing Metatron
and Yahweh to enter. God has a male
form, mid 40s with short brown hair to the ears and a pleasant smile. Lilith sits on the living room sofa, another
cup of tea in her hands. She stands
slowly and places the tea down.)
Metatron: (Uneasily.) Lilith.
Lilith: (Returning the uneasy
quality.) Metatron. Yahweh.
(God offers Lilith a small glare.)
Metatron: I’m sure you’re thrilled about summoning me for help. To be frank, I’m
not too keen on helping you either, Lilith.
However, it’s in everyone’s best interest to fix this quickly. That said then, I want you to recount
everything that occurred yesterday.
Uriel: Might I suggest we sit down
first?
Metatron: A wise idea.
(Uriel and Lilith sit down on the sofa.
God and Metatron take arm chairs on either side of the sofa.)
Lilith: I walked to work yesterday to
find my store vandalized and slanderous graffiti painted across the wall. The graffiti clearly indicated that the
writer or writers had some indication that I was not the person who I pretend
to be. I was concerned about this, but
shrugged it off. I spent a long while at
the police station being questioned, then went home and went to bed. At midnight I was awoken by an explosion in
my house to find that someone had lobbed an explosive through my window. Sensing I was in real danger, I immediately
ran here.
Metatron: I see.
Obviously you ran to Uriel because you trust him the most out of all of
the angels you’ve had dealings with. Is
there any indication on how your identitiy might have
been leaked out?
Lilith: To the best of my knowledge, a
neighbour might have found suspicious photographs and items in my home. I try and keep those things out of the way,
but sometimes people get too curious.
Metatron: Uriel, did you look up
information on the neighbour?
Uriel: (Nods.) The neighbour is an evangelical
Christian. No surprise there,
really.
Metatron: Huh. (He looks at God.) Would it help to find out how much the media
knows about this?
(God nods.)
Uriel: I’ll go look it up online then.
(Uriel excuses himself from the room.
Lilith glares at Metatron and God.)
Metatron: What I’d like to know, Lilith, is what do you want me to do about this whole mess?
(Lilith pauses for a moment, unsure of how to answer it.)
Lilith: I…I don’t know, Yahweh. It just seemed like something you needed to
know. I mean, it could be really bad if
word got leaked out because there’d be all sorts of problems in Christianity
and Judaism and…
Metatron: (Nods slowly.) No, you did the right thing. I think what God is trying to say though is
that It really can’t get too involved in this situation.
Lilith:
(Frustrated.) I know, I
know! It’s just…if this happens once it
means it could happen again and I don’t know what I’m gonna do and just…(She throws her hands up in the air.)
(Uriel walks in, carrying his laptop.)
Uriel: The story isn’t very wide
spread. A few local
Metatron: Let me see the articles.
(Uriel hands God his laptop. Lilith
picks up her tea and takes a long sip.
God nods quietly and skims.)
Lilith: (To
Uriel.) Did they say anything about the
condition of the house?
Uriel: It seems that only the front of
the house was damaged. (He sits down
next to her.) Where’s your locked
library?
Lilith: Near the back. (She breathes a small sigh of relief.) Thank goodness.
Metatron: Honestly, Lilith, I’m not sure there’s much I can do.
Lilith: (Sighs.) Look, Yahweh.
What can you do to help? The only
thing I’m worried about is something like this happening again. If you could manipulate the situation so that
they made a mistake in attack the person, going through records and changing my
first name or making it look liked they attacked me because I’m Arabic, anything…
Metatron: You’re going to be moving when
this is cleared up, correct?
Lilith: (Nods.) Of course. I’m going to relocate to
Metatron: Lilith, I’d prefer if you lived outside of the
(Lilith glares angrily at God. God
glares back.)
Metatron: If you’re going to ask for my assistance in this situation you’re going
to need to compromise with me.
Lilith: (Sighs.) The inevitable catch. (She shakes her head.) I move outside of the
Metatron: You will owe me a favour to be called in when I decide and you cannot
refuse it.
Lilith: (Glares.) This is going to be some dirty business you
don’t want your angels involved in, I can feel it.
Metatron: You can take or leave the offer, Lilith.
Lilith: (Sighs.) Fine, I agree. (Annoyed.) Any place in particular you’d like me to go, Yahweh?
Metatron: I’d suggest
Lilith: (Shakes her head.) I’ll figure it out later. (To God.) How long will it take to clear this mess up?
Metatron: I’m not sure. It’ll be a few days at minimum. Uriel, would you mind having Lilith here
until this business is cleared up?
Uriel: No, not really.
Metatron: Excellent. I’ll get on this
immediately. Incidentally Lilith, I
would return home today, if only to see the extent of the damage of the
fire. Uriel, I want you to go with her
so that it’s easier to get back to your apartment here.
Uriel: (Nods and bows slightly.) Of course, Your
Holiness.
(God and Metatron stand up.)
Metatron: I believe that concludes our business.
Lilith, you will be notified immediately about how the situation is
cleared up.
Lilith: Fair enough. And thank you.
(God nods and walks out. Metatron looks
at Lilith.)
Metatron: It was nice to see you
again.
(Lilith stares at Metatron. Metatron
exits. Uriel looks over at Lilith.)
Uriel: You want to go back home or…
Lilith: Right now, I just need some time
alone to recover mentally. If you don’t mind.
Uriel: No, of course not. I can start looking at houses in
Lilith: (Shakes her head.) Don’t.
I’ll do it. But
later. I just need some time
alone.
(Uriel looks at Lilith, worried.)
Uriel: You sure?
Lilith: I’m gonna take a bath and try
and relax. After that we’ll head to
(Lilith disappears into Uriel’s bathroom. Uriel shakes his head and makes himself a cup
of tea.)
Fin.