Modica Amor

Scene 1

(Lucifer sits on a park bench. He dresses in modern clothes, a white dress shirt and black jeans. His hair is pulled back into a pony tail with a few strands dangling in his face. It’s fall. The leaves around him are a vibrant pallet of red, orange, yellow and brown. He looks around, as if expecting someone. Down the side walk approached Jophiel. She wears a brown suede trench coat, blue jeans and a light green shirt. Lucifer notices her and stands up. She walks over and the two hug.)

Lucifer: You’re late.

Jophiel: By two minutes. And don’t forget, this is a working date.

Lucifer: We both know that isn’t going to happen.

(Jophiel glares at Lucifer. Lucifer shrinks slightly and sits back down.)

Lucifer: Fine, fine. Business before pleasure and all that. What’s the problem that we need to be serious about for five minutes?

(Jophiel sits beside him and produces a few folders.)

Jophiel: There have been some rumors of unauthorized changes in damned protocol as well as a few soul issues that Metatron wanted me to discuss with you directly.

(Lucifer groans inwardly. Jophiel raises an eyebrow.)

Jophiel: So, do you even want to hear the rumors or will you just tell me what you changed down in Hell?

Lucifer: No, not at all. I only made one change and that was to the punishment in circle 2.

Jophiel: Oh? (She looks at him, analytically.)

Lucifer: The eternal gusty winds didn’t really seem like a logical punishment, so we changed it to rotting genitalia. It’s surprisingly effective.

(Jophiel stares at Lucifer. Lucifer shrugs and smiles wryly.)

Jophiel: Some days it is very hard to love you.

(Lucifer blushes. Jophiel frowns.)

Jophiel: Now, I didn’t know this until Metatron told me, but you have to fill out a form saying that you’ve made that change and he has to approve it. I’m sure he will, but it’s just a paperwork thing because we all know that’s how the system works.

Lucifer: Yeah, sadly. (He frowns.) What, no scathing judgment on the actual punishment?

Jophiel: There really isn’t much one can say in response to the phrase “rotting genitalia” Luci.

Lucifer: True.

(He reclines more on the bench. Jophiel hands him three folders.)

Jophiel: Now, as for the other part I mentioned. We’re having a problem placing these three souls. We sent the information to Sariel but she never got back to us.

Lucifer: Sariel’s been backed up for the past few weeks. I’m not surprised. (He opens the folders and rolls his eyes.) Really, can I look at these later? I really don’t feel like thinking about work.

Jophiel: I’m sorry, but no. These souls have been in purgatory for three weeks. We need a decision now.

Lucifer: Couldn’t they just play rock paper scissors and the two losers are damned?

(Jophiel smacks Lucifer sharply upside the head. He laughs and rubs his head.)

Lucifer: That’s a no.

(Lucifer sighs and begins to read. Jophiel smiles and relaxes, looking upwards. After a moment’s pause Lucifer looks up.)

Lucifer: So, what’s going on with your family? Did you tell Michael we’re dating again?

Jophiel: No, not yet. Uriel knows. Gabriel does too. But aside from that, I haven’t told anyone.

Lucifer: Mmm. Probably a good idea. (He closes the first folder and hands it to Jophiel.) Purgatory for this one.

Jophiel: You sure?

Lucifer: He’d be out of place in Hell but he isn’t quite ready for Heaven yet. Lemme see the next one. (He opens the next folder and makes a face.) Why’re you even debating this woman? Damnation seems obvious.

Jophiel: Keep reading.

(Lucifer frowns and continues to read. He makes a face when he reaches the end of the file.)

Lucifer: Ooooh. No wonder you can’t decide. I can’t even imagine what to do.

Jophiel: Personally I think that one should be submitted for a council review.

Lucifer: I’m inclined to agree. Should I write that on here?

Jophiel: Yeah.

Lucifer: Got a pen?

(Jophiel produces a pen and hands it to Lucifer. Lucifer scribbles something on the folder quickly and hands it Jophiel. He then opens the third folder and reads carefully.)

Jophiel: That one’s been bothering Metatron for some reason. We were all set to make a judgment but he saw the file and wanted to review it.

Lucifer: I can’t imagine why he would take such an interest in this case. (He pauses.) Actually, I can.

Jophiel: You care to explain?

Lucifer: I think he somewhat identifies with this guy. Projecting a bit of himself into this man.

(Jophiel takes the folder from Lucifer and looks it over. She pauses and nods.)

Jophiel: I see it now. (She sighs.) What’re you thinking on this one, dear?

Lucifer: Hate to say it, but damnation. The minor offenses add up and outweigh the good.

Jophiel: What circle then?

Lucifer: I’ll have Semyaza take care of that.

(He hands her the final folder. Jophiel teleports them off. The two stand up.)

Lucifer: Now can we have a nice evening together and not discuss work?

(Jophiel grins and grabs his hand. She fakes exasperation.)

Jophiel: If we have to.

Lucifer: Jophiel!

Jophiel: Kidding, kidding.

(She laughs. Lucifer shakes his head.)

Jophiel: I love you, really.

Lucifer: I know.

(They kiss briefly and then walk off, holding hands.)

Fin.